Dirt
by FreshNerd
Summary: just things I wrote about Harry Potter character mostly bagging on them. rated M for lots of language.


I am dirt

I don't own Harry Potter or am in any way connected to it. I don't profit or anything like that this is all for fun nothing more.

This is a one shot maybe more little other chapters telling why Ron sucks.

I'm just writing my mind as I go along so don't expect a very nice chapter.

K-here it is-

A magical kid who got the first book of Harry Potter and watched the movie sat down writing his thought.

When I read the book I thought Ron looked better when I couldn't imagine his face from the description, but imagine my surprise when they found a kid looking like that. Okay so maybe the author had based the description off of Ron from the beginning. There was no way J.k. Rowling could have imagined something like Ron.

Things Ron would say.

"Harry mate how ya doing,"said Ron trying to sound cool.

"Harry I don't know if I want to go there my MOM said it was unsafe,"trying to act like he cared about his friend safety.

"Hermione you are such a know it all,"now how is that an insult.

"Ginny my sister she's such a pest,"okay he's a rodent problem with a hot sister obviously Molly Weasly had an affair to have Ginny along with all of Ron's other brothers.

Molly must have felt bad for Arthur and decided to split her legs once for him after she finished popping kids for other and cherry than went back to another man to get Ginny after realizing Ron was such a disappointment.

At least Harry Potter will have Ginny opening her legs for him a lot of time if her mother is anything to go by he just has to make sure he watches her. Something trivial for the boy who lived.

Ginny know how to ride a broom so at least Harry has something going for him.

Hermione knows how to bite her lips. Now she knows how to look hot. Her hair is kind of a turn on depending if your looking down in it bobbing.

Nevill Longbottom is a dumb name. How long could his bottom be to get that name. Alice Longbottom must have had worked hard to earn the name ne.

Draco Malfoy isn't Lucius Malfoy's son. Narcissa Malfoy must have experimented before fucking Lucius. Lucius looks dumb with his cane that he carries to replace the one stuck up his ass.

Narcissa walks as though she took the cane stuck up Lucius everyday multiple time from multiple pureblood. She likes it pure and simple.

Bellatrix black hnn Lestrange looks like she been in self stimulated during her time in Azkaban. Her tits are saggy and looking like they been stretched to produce cheese. She laughs like she was use to choking on something.

Lily Potter looks looks like she was the nest thing that came to the wizarding world and respectable woman beside and unlike Molly Weasley who had enjoyed everything the wizard world had to offer.

James Potter was lame and should have gotten rid of the glass isn't this the world where the world is magical. So maybe magic can grant immortality, but not perfect eyesight so why didn't they go get contact or surgery of some kind I know it's possible including the laser treatment.

Harry Potter should have had the scar moved somewhere else with the magic Hogwart offered or from the books from the restricted library.

Why did fifteen year old Harry Potter back down from his fat uncle. Whenever the dark lord pops up his eyes get filled with determination and power, but whenever Vernon Dursley pops up why does he curl up like a injured puppy letting himself be locked up in his room and disrespected.

Dumbledore is the dumbest hero of light ever not to mention oddest.

Let me whisper sweet nothing into your ears boo. He is a teacher for a school who runs a vigilante group that are dedicated to stopping evil, but when ever they do catch someone or even stop an attack the leader the school teacher believes in second chance and let's the person go. Now not only does this old teacher run a school, but he also took custody of a kid he had no relation to and sent him to some freaky normal people to care and love him. Now not only does this headmaster run around fighting evil, but he also appears in court as the big bad mugglewump with lots of power in politic, but he can't call out a person on being dark because it would right like maybe Lucius Malfoy or even take out one of his own from prison and only prison they have. So this old crazy teacher not only goes that far, but he also has unimaginable power, but never took down even one of the dark follower in battle. No all the old man had was bark nothing more.

Now Ginny Weasley maybe knows how to suck she demonstrated it many time throughout the movie I won't say when, but if you find it good for you.

Hermione Granger left cheek is bigger than her right in one of the movie. She must have been slapped or something probably in a fight. shame on you for thinking wrong.

Ron Weasley looks kind of dumb with how he sounds any one that sound like him should have their vocal chord cut out or changed and hope your kids don't get it.

Voldemort looks like he been been cheated by Belltrix when she promised she never touch another man before splitting her legs open.

Now can magic cure incurable disease.

Severus Snape looks like he been sweating with his head down all the time in the cauldron.

Severus says Potter all the time because it sounds like harder to the little sentient magical stick he placed up his own. A magical vibrator you will that has a voice command.

Snapes like to turn the stick in the cauldron clockwise and counter clockwise following the instruction from his potion book to brew the perfect potion.

Hermione Granger has a perfect body now that she's grown, but her buck teeth had given her a little more seduction when she had it.

Molly Weasley practice her vocal chord daily because when she places something in it she likes to humm. Imagine that.

Ginny Weasley looks tight with her thin body that must be magical. It didn't help either way we all know she dated others before Harry and she must have stretched herself early.

Tonks purple hair looks awesome if it was just below your waist just like Hermione's. I wonder can she look like Taylor swift. Maybe Taylor swift should have played Tonks or even Ginny Weasley wouldn't that be awesome. Romeo come save me we'll get a white dress. Dadadada.

Review please if you liked the bagging on Harry Potter character. Remember this had all been freestyle so don't go like you jumped from place to place.


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